Monday, 11 February 2008

The Ugg Scuff

This modern day phenomenon has emerged steadily since 'Mossy' started the craze for squidgy boots that make you look like you're wearing the 'feet' part of an animal costume.

Frequent any high street on a Saturday afternoon, take a position (preferably near a Starbucks - the Uggers' natural habitat) and listen for The Scuff. You won't have to wait long, particularly if the Starbucks is equidistant to a Primark. For while real Uggs may create a gentle scuff, cheapo versions virtually disable the wearer, collapsing at the heel and creating a kind of 'side shoe' where you have to walk on the actual material of the boot.

Like the sound equivalent to light pollution the Ugg Scuff now exists as the accepted soundtrack to any shopping exhibition, lulling the general public into a scuff-induced stupor. It's only when you're safely out of the Ugg-zone that your ears adjust to the sounds of life sans scuff.

I'm guilty of it myself. So what if I couldn't tell whether they were meant to be slippers or boots. I wouldn't wear them anywhere people might see, just to the shop up the road, or the library. And at £8 for the pair I don't mind if I do, thanks.

Approximately 26 hours after purchase those boots were worn into work. I scuffed about all day, aware and embarrassed of my increased audio presence in the office. Traipsing around with two bits of styrofoam attached to my feet via some polyester 'fur'. You have to do a comedy Basil Fawlty walk just to clear the floor. And the heat! Like wearing two miniature electric blankets inside my shoes. I couldn't wait to scuff home.

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